When you are thrown into the tempest of grief and loss, the trauma is lonely. You feel like the only person in the universe that has suffered a loss. Life as you know it is gone, the emotional pain is greater than the pain of childbirth. Everything is turned upside down and all you can do is collapse in the middle of the chaos and curl into a foetus position. No one else seems to be able to hear you, they try to console you, but it will take more than just mere words to bring you back to normalcy.
That's where I was in the middle of my storm, I had a mental breakdown and I didn't have the strength to carry on. So, I surrendered and let go. I had to release myself from any control I had at the moment and focus on taking care of myself.
The transition from passive mourning to active remembrance is critical to building resilience in the aftermath of loss. I had to transfer my energy from loss to proactiveness. Change was the challenging part. It was such an important thing for me to take some time. I took a career break and made a true journey to find myself. It also allowed me to spend time with both my boys, they needed me too. The journey to normality was one stage at a time, there is no rush, take your time. This is what I did. I wanted to honour Mayah and one of the ways i am able to do this is through Mayah's Legacy. The pursuit of this journey through this charity has brought me life and hope. The focus was no longer on my pain, but on supporting other families that have experienced pregnancy loss.
I look forward to honouring Mayah every day as long as I am here to do so.